102 year old actor crushes

Told my client: "I found you a new husband! He's only a month- almost to the day- younger than you!" Her: "I don't want to train a new man. He's too set in his ways." Daughter: "Who is it? I have to approve first." Me: "Kirk Douglas." Client: "He's still alive?!" Show them a picture...

Again with the chocolate!

My client literally just sat down after errand day. I was in the process of changing her shoes and she ate two Hersey nuggets "Can you please not eat any more chocolate until after lunch?" Her: "I'm just finishing this piece. Someone obviously ate the rest." Waves at her empty candy dish next to her...

When people think you’re dying

My relief keeps saying my client is fading- as in dying. Because she's napping more and she doesn't eat much. I know eventually the end will come. She will be 102 in 12 days after all. It's bound to happen. So I'm not ignoring the possibility. But people have been saying she is dying for...

102 in sight

I was teasing my client about doing something big with her to celebrate her 102nd birthday in November. "I still say we should skydive together!" Her: "I still say you're an idiot." Me: "How about ziplining?" Her: "How about zipping your lip?" Me: "Feeding sharks?" Her: "I could feed them you." Me: "Scuba diving?" Her:...

Laughter in the shower

I was helping my client with her shower when I suddenly coughed. She jumped on her shower stool at the loud noise. "You scared me!" Me: "I'm sorry. I usually cover my coughs but that one came out of nowhere!" She looked over the edge of the stool on both sides. Me: "What's wrong? I...

Phone calls

My client gets numerous survey calls a week. This week it was a particularly persistent one about parenting. She handed me the phone. "Ma'am can I ask you a few questions about your plans on having children?" Me: "No. I'm sorry you can't. I'm 101 and I'm not planning to have anymore children." Her: "But...

Christmas memories

Facebook Memories -- December 6, 2016  It is so interesting decorating someone else's Christmas tree. You aren't emotionally invested in these baubles that you nestle on branches.  You don't see family members and Christmases past as you unwrap that ornament that has been passed down from mother to daughter. You don't see that huge blizzard...

Bizarre foods through necessity

I was telling my client about how my Grandpa always brings up possums in conversation.  Then I preceded to tell her how he likes to wait at the meat display in the grocery store and make comments like, "You never find a good possum steak anymore. Sure wish they'd sell possum here."  When he was...

Sharing the weather

I'm such a nice caregiver. Whenever I come in from walking the dog, my 101 year old client always asks how it was. "It's cold today and windy!" Her: "Oh is it? It's 45*. That's not too cold. It's been colder!" Me: "It's cold enough when all you are doing is walking." Hand her the...

Dangerously Vintage

Facebook Status -- 9/29/17 I was talking to my client last night about how mercury was used in top hats which caused the term "Mad as a Hatter." (Thanks Mysteries at the Museum!) She asked, "How dumb can you get? Using mercury?!" Me: "Well, we always use things that we think are good until we...